The East Stirling Feature
I suspect that to many readers, the heading above will mean very little. But to those afficiandos of grass roots Scottish League football, it will be perfectly clear.
On an internet news group that I belong to, we have been following the fortunes of East Stirling for the last year or so. Why you may ask? Well, they are quite simply, probably the worst football team in England and Scotland at the moment. They play in the Scottish Third Division, which with no disrespect to my friends across the border, is not the most skilful league in the country. To be the worst in this league, takes commitment and dedication. A few facts may make things a bit clearer.
Scottish Third Division Table 2002-03
| 1 | Greenock Morton | 36 | 13 | 4 | 1 | 42 | 14 | 8 | 5 | 5 | 25 | 19 | 21 | 9 | 6 | 67 | 33 | 72 | +34 | ||||
| 2 | East Fife | 36 | 10 | 4 | 4 | 35 | 22 | 10 | 7 | 1 | 38 | 15 | 20 | 11 | 5 | 73 | 37 | 71 | +36 | ||||
| 3 | Albion Rovers | 36 | 9 | 6 | 3 | 31 | 20 | 11 | 4 | 3 | 31 | 16 | 20 | 10 | 6 | 62 | 36 | 70 | +26 | ||||
| 4 | Peterhead | 36 | 13 | 4 | 1 | 49 | 15 | 7 | 4 | 7 | 27 | 22 | 20 | 8 | 8 | 76 | 37 | 68 | +39 | ||||
| 5 | Stirling Albion | 36 | 9 | 4 | 5 | 24 | 16 | 6 | 7 | 5 | 26 | 28 | 15 | 11 | 10 | 50 | 44 | 56 | +6 | ||||
| 6 | Gretna | 36 | 4 | 8 | 6 | 26 | 27 | 7 | 4 | 7 | 24 | 23 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 50 | 50 | 45 | 0 | ||||
| 7 | Montrose | 36 | 4 | 5 | 9 | 17 | 31 | 3 | 7 | 8 | 18 | 30 | 7 | 12 | 17 | 35 | 61 | 33 | -26 | ||||
| 8 | Queens Park | 36 | 3 | 5 | 10 | 21 | 29 | 4 | 6 | 8 | 18 | 22 | 7 | 11 | 18 | 39 | 51 | 32 | -12 | ||||
| 9 | Elgin City | 36 | 3 | 7 | 8 | 17 | 24 | 2 | 6 | 10 | 16 | 39 | 5 | 13 | 18 | 33 | 63 | 28 | -30 | ||||
| 10 | East Stirlingshire | 36 | 0 | 5 | 13 | 11 | 46 | 2 | 2 | 14 | 21 | 59 | 2 | 7 | 27 | 32 | 105 | 13 | -73 |
Do you start to get the picture now? A pretty dismal season with just 2 wins and 7 draws, and a goal difference of -73!
Scottish Third Division Table 2003-04
| 1 | Stranraer | 36 | 13 | 2 | 3 | 51 | 14 | 11 | 5 | 2 | 36 | 16 | 24 | 7 | 5 | 87 | 30 | 79 | +57 | ||||
| 2 | Stirling Albion | 36 | 10 | 5 | 3 | 37 | 12 | 13 | 3 | 2 | 41 | 15 | 23 | 8 | 5 | 78 | 27 | 77 | +51 | ||||
| 3 | Gretna | 36 | 9 | 5 | 4 | 29 | 18 | 11 | 3 | 4 | 30 | 21 | 20 | 8 | 8 | 59 | 39 | 68 | +20 | ||||
| 4 | Peterhead | 36 | 10 | 5 | 3 | 38 | 13 | 8 | 2 | 8 | 29 | 24 | 18 | 7 | 11 | 67 | 37 | 61 | +30 | ||||
| 5 | Cowdenbeath | 36 | 7 | 3 | 8 | 25 | 27 | 8 | 7 | 3 | 21 | 12 | 15 | 10 | 11 | 46 | 39 | 55 | +7 | ||||
| 6 | Montrose | 36 | 7 | 4 | 7 | 31 | 34 | 5 | 8 | 5 | 21 | 29 | 12 | 12 | 12 | 52 | 63 | 48 | -11 | ||||
| 7 | Queens Park | 36 | 5 | 5 | 8 | 20 | 24 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 21 | 29 | 10 | 11 | 15 | 41 | 53 | 41 | -12 | ||||
| 8 | Albion Rovers | 36 | 6 | 2 | 10 | 36 | 35 | 6 | 2 | 10 | 30 | 40 | 12 | 4 | 20 | 66 | 75 | 40 | -9 | ||||
| 9 | Elgin City | 36 | 4 | 5 | 9 | 23 | 34 | 2 | 2 | 14 | 25 | 59 | 6 | 7 | 23 | 48 | 93 | 25 | -45 | ||||
| 10 | East Stirlingshire | 36 | 2 | 2 | 14 | 22 | 51 | 0 | 0 | 18 | 8 | 67 | 2 | 2 | 32 | 30 | 118 | 8 | -88 |
An even worse season. Again just 2 wins all season, and less draws than last season (2). A goal difference of -88!
Scottish Third Division Table 2004-05
| 1 | Peterhead | 9 | 4 | 1 | 0 | 13 | 3 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 2 | 8 | 1 | 0 | 19 | 5 | 25 | +14 | ||||
| 2 | Gretna | 9 | 5 | 0 | 0 | 17 | 2 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 8 | 5 | 7 | 1 | 1 | 25 | 7 | 22 | +18 | ||||
| 3 | Elgin City | 9 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 5 | 4 | 2 | 0 | 3 | 5 | 8 | 5 | 0 | 4 | 10 | 12 | 15 | -2 | ||||
| 4 | Queens Park | 9 | 2 | 1 | 2 | 9 | 9 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 10 | 3 | 4 | 2 | 3 | 19 | 12 | 14 | +7 | ||||
| 5 | Stenhousemuir | 9 | 1 | 1 | 3 | 8 | 8 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 8 | 1 | 3 | 2 | 4 | 16 | 9 | 11 | +7 | ||||
| 6 | Montrose | 9 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 4 | 5 | 2 | 1 | 2 | 6 | 5 | 3 | 2 | 4 | 10 | 10 | 11 | 0 | ||||
| 7 | Cowdenbeath | 9 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 7 | 8 | 0 | 1 | 4 | 6 | 12 | 3 | 1 | 5 | 13 | 20 | 10 | -7 | ||||
| 8 | Albion Rovers | 9 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 6 | 4 | 0 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 11 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 8 | 15 | 9 | -7 | ||||
| 9 | East Fife | 9 | 2 | 2 | 1 | 4 | 5 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 2 | 11 | 2 | 2 | 5 | 6 | 16 | 8 | -10 | ||||
| 10 | East Stirlingshire | 9 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 2 | 9 | 0 | 1 | 4 | 4 | 17 | 0 | 2 | 7 | 6 | 26 | 2 | -20 |
It's not getting any better this season either! No wins and just 2 points.
So in the last 2 and a bit seasons, their record is Played 81 Won 4 Drawn 11 Lost 66 Goals For 68 Goals Against 249 Goal Difference 181.
If you are like me and spend Saturday afternoons following the football scores, then keep a check on East Stirling. This week for example, they were 7 minutes away from their first win of the season, when the away team (Montrose) equalised. So will next week be the first win? It's a great way to spend your Saturday afternoons. Honest!
Two other final facts. Their ground capacity is 781, and Alex Ferguson started his managerial career at the club. Perhaps when he's bored with Manchester Utd, he can go back and try and revive East Stirling's fortunes. Now that would be a challenge for him.